Damn

He wasn't wearing a ring.

I never even thought to ask.

He certainly doesn't act married.

He took me out to lunch, we had a lovely time, then we walked through the park, sat, and talked. That's when he dropped the bomb: he wants to be closer to me, to touch me, to be totally open with me, yada yada, then: he's in a "broken marriage."

For your information, Alain: a broken marriage is one in which there has been a divorce. Not one in which you still live with your wife and nine-year-old son, and your mother-in-law, a Holocaust survivor, lives next door.

He wants to be with me, feels close to me, but recognizes that I deserve to know the truth, to make my own decision. He said he's only staying in the marriage until his son is old enough to emotionally handle a divorce. (Is there ever a time when children can handle their parents' divorce?)

I told him that no, of course I couldn't be involved with a married man. The circumstances of his marriage and his unhappiness in it are not for me to involve myself in. I told him he's doing the right thing by remaining married; he made a decision and he should stay with it. That he owes it to his son, if to no one else.

While I know that some marriages aren't worth keeping, I'm certainly not going to give anyone rationalization for an affair, or tell someone they should get a divorce. Obviously.

I don't plan to see him or talk with him again. I told him we'd remain friends-- but I know we won't. It's all raw right now. Thank you, Baleboosteh and EmahS, for your kind words. I know you'll be sad right along with me.

Ouch.