The Reasons
Indy and I had a relatively good night last night, and this morning she awoke and actually drank water on her own! It was a beautiful and hopeful sight. But I know the right thing for her, not me, is euthanasia. Watching her get a little better is so cruel and deceptive. The vets told me this could happen. She could stabilize, and possibly even regain use of her legs (through the amazingly fast growth of what are called collateral arteries, I learned).
But it's all temporary, because heart disease is the main problem. It's like a cruel joke. So at the moment, I need to use this blog to remind myself why euthanasia is the most humane decision.
But it's all temporary, because heart disease is the main problem. It's like a cruel joke. So at the moment, I need to use this blog to remind myself why euthanasia is the most humane decision.
- She is in terrible pain whenever she's moved, even with the pain medication.
- She's in pain and moaning even when she's not being moved.
- She will die within a matter of weeks or months, no matter what treatment she receives.
- If I wait, her death may come at a time when she's alone, and/or could be very painful, due to a seizure, stroke, liver or kidney failure (all due to blood clots), or cardiac arrest.
- If euthanized, she will have a peaceful and presumably pain-free passing, and will not suffer, and her final moments will be at home with me, not alone, or being raced to some veterinary facility so that they can euthanize her upon arrival.
- She is weakened and she refuses any kind of food.
- She is humiliated by the indignity of all this-- not having the strength to wash herself, use the litter box alone, or even sit up.
I have a neighbor who opined that I need to do this "when it's right for me." I don't agree with this. I need to do what's right for Indy, not me. God gave humans dominion over animals, and we're charged with their care. So when it's right for Indy, it's right for me, too.
If you pray, please pray that I'll have the strength to do what's right. Even though I may not feel ready.
posted by Yaakova | 6:40 AM
4 Comments:
We released Babypaws about 2 years ago. I was very sad, she'd been with us a long time, and I still expect to see her tail hanging down in front of the television screen, but difficult as it was it was the right thing for her.
No more Baby, but no more pain or fear for her either.
You'll be very sad, but glad that you've saved her further distress.
Yaakova,
i feel so sorry for what happens to Indy, to be honest your last few posts made me cry. But enjoy the last moments with Indy, you've made the right decision. And it's good to have the vet come to your house, that's what i'll do too, if i would have to take this hard decision for my cats.
It is such a hard decision to make, so hard to tell when it really is the right time. Second guessing and agonizing over it are unfortunately part of it. But I think you are looking at it in exactly the right way. I can honestly say I wish I hadn't waited quite so long with Pandy because I really waited a little too long.
It is a blessing that we can not only love our little animals and have happy and joyful little lives but also that we can ease their suffering and help them to have a peaceful and comfortable ending. The procedure is not painful for them I promise you but exactly as when they are put under for an operation. They go to sleep and then just sleep a little deeper. It is really wonderful Yaakova that you've found someone who can come to your house so that she is in her own environment and fully at ease in her familiar surroundings with the familiar sights and scents and you there to hold her.
You are really so brave and so deeply caring. Sending you a big hug and one for Indy too. Keeping you both in my thoughts.
Oh Yaakova, I have you in my prayers and thoughts. You and your neighbor are both right. You see, doing what is right for Indy is doing what is right for you, because you love her as much as she loves you. You are giving Indy the gift of peace and having dignity in her final days. You will always have Indy in your heart and in your memory and you will not have to have memories of a long period of suffering for your little butterfly watcher. Every butterfly that flutters by will be a little bit of Indy.
Peace, love and prayers to you.
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