What a Week

I can't take much more. I've about had it with veterinary offices. They've mostly been nice, but 6 vet offices and 9 vets in one week (no exaggeration) is more than anyone should be expected to take standing up.

I was able to have Indy euthanized here at home, in bed while I held her. It comforts me to know I did the right thing for her, but I miss her so much. Occasionally I break down and have a good cry. Her passing was peaceful (except when the vet sat on my bed and broke it, just before administering her final dose of narcotic). Of course it was very hard for me, but it seemed to be completely pain-free for her, which is what matters. I just couldn't watch her suffer while she improved outwardly a bit, only to become ill again and die in pain in the very near future. If there had been any medical way to save her and heal her of the heart disease, I would have done it. The cost was not an issue. But to give some comparison, humans with similar cases of advanced heart disease are candidates for heart transplants, and the veterinary community just don't do those for animals. If anyone is interested in what her heart disease involved, you can read about it here. Another thing that consoles me was learning that it's very rare for a cat to live to be 6 1/2 in this condition; most die between ages 2-5. So I was very fortunate to have her with me for so long.

I ended up burying her in the back yard, not in the front. I couldn't handle the idea of her being buried in the unprotected front yard. After she passed away, I was manic for hours; I didn't cry and I could not stop moving. At 1:30 a.m. I had to take Tylenol PM just to slow down. I buried her with soft linens and catnip, and yesterday I planted a garden of lilies on her grave. I'm going to buy a personalized plaque that reads "Indy's Garden."

I'm doing OK... Crying, like I said, but healing, too. I keep thinking I see Indy out of the corner of my eye, or start to buy things she likes at the grocery and pet stores, or starting to change her water/food/litter, and when I realize she's not here anymore, it's hard. I think Monaco, my other kitty (a feral cat at heart), is getting tired of being picked up. Other than that, Monaco seems to be handling Indy's passing fine. I allowed all the animals to see and smell Indy's body, which I hope was a good decision. I did this even though the vet who euthanized her suggested against it, saying it might stress Monaco. But since Monaco gets very stressed when she can't find Indy, I think it would have been more stressful for her to be searching and meowing for Indy for who knows how long.

Of course, Truffle was not exactly respectful toward the deceased, what with thoroughly sniffing and snorting over Indy's entire body, then trying to dig up and trampling upon her grave. But appalling as it was, that's just what puppies do.

We apparently couldn't exist a day in this household without some pet drama, so last night Angel started hacking very frighteningly. This morning I took her to the vet, and he said (thank You, God!!!) that it's not her heart, it's some kind of upper respiratory illness, and he prescribed antibiotics. Let's hope Truffle doesn't get whatever viral or bacterial nasties that have caused Angel's white blood count to surge upwards. I just can't take any more.

And Truffle and I are boarding a plane in 6 days, so she had better not get sick!! Though I did obtain her health certificate today, so whether she's on antibiotics or not, this puppy is getting on that plane with me. Truffle is a wonderful puppy, but I was getting burned out with all the intense veterinary care as early as a two weeks ago, and things have only intensified since then. Add to all this the fact that Truffle has now decided that it's OK to pee on the rug, just as a special treat to me. Pleasant.

Someday soon, for my own as well as my readers' sake, I hope to be back to my witty self. Maybe that will happen when I'm on vacation. (December 19th through 28th, if I'm not mistaken). I also seriously need to get back to work. I have done precious little to earn a living in the last 6 days. This is no way to run a business.